The Eagles of Death Metal
- The Black Sabbath of Freak-Folk
- The Aerosmith of Grindcore
- The Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young of Chamber Pop
- The Steely Dan of Post-Hardcore
- The Doobie Brothers of O.G. Emo
- The NWA of IDM
- The Jam of Math Rock
- The Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow of Nü-Metal
- The AC/DC of Oi!
- The Grand Funk of No Wave
- The Bruce Hornsby and the Range of Downtempo
Reading Lolita in Tehran
- Lending Lolita to attractive students in Łomża.
- Feeling incredibly underwhelmed by Don Quixote in Monterrico, Guatemala.
- Apparently having some rationale for buying a collection of essays by Nietzsche, in Białystok, but damned if I know what I was thinking.
- Writing a song in Tübingen that makes reference to The Magic Mountain, without having actually read the book.
- Discussing Jude the Obscure with some strange older man who claimed that it changed his life, on a bus between Washington and New York.
- Never getting around to reading my roommate’s screenplay adaptation of Galapagos, in DC.
- Giving The Grapes of Wrath to the girl I was in love with, after finishing reading it, in Łomża, though I was pretty sure she wouldn’t really ever read it in English.
- Lugging The Brothers Karamazov with me from apartment to apartment over the course of a decade, pretending that I will read it someday.
- Struggling through the German translation of Huckleberry Finn in Germany and eventually abandoning it, figuring, “what’s the point?”
- Giving Notes from Underground to a drifter who apparently was wandering across America selling his body to random men, and asked if I had any light reading or science fiction, in the DC neighborhood of Burleith.
- Finishing Midnight’s Children on a transatlantic flight while seated next to two old Austrian men who were doing ridiculous amounts of snuff, which I politely declined.
- Becoming totally bored with Tropic of Cancer, wondering why people like this book, and just skimming through to all the sex parts, at the Kalorama House in DC.
- Hating the Internet for seducing me away from books, everywhere.